The other day, Mama T's husband brought her baby boy in to work for a visit. Dude happened to be in the office fixing some network problem. Baby boy is getting very grabby and almost cut Mama with his too long nails.
Dude that's nothing!
Wait until his nails get really long. I had to get special SAFETY contacts because my boy almost gouged my eye out! I had to got to the emergency room!
Um...
Maybe you should clip his nails?
Friday, October 26, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Awake without sleep
Patrick - When I worked at EDS we used to do 3 - 12 hour days and then every other weekend we would do an 8 hour deal. So I had worked a 12 hour schedule and then drove from Troy Michigan to Pierre South Dakota...about 20 hours. So I had been up for about 37 hours straight.
Dude that's Nothing...
You know who (AKA The Topper) - This one time when I was in the military; I was up for 96 hours straight.
Dude that's Nothing...
You know who (AKA The Topper) - This one time when I was in the military; I was up for 96 hours straight.
Eye damage
Patrick - I was living in Oxford Michigan when friends of mine as me over for a bonfire. We were there drinking and smoking away when Al decided to stoke up the fire a bit and threw on some dry pine tree branches. A hot cinder popped out of the fire and landed in my right eye. I quickly went inside and washed it out but my vision in that eye was blurry. So, I went to the doctors and they gave me some eye drop medicine and after a couple of days everything was back to normal.
Dude that's Nothing...
Dave - During a short summer break a kid that I really didn't know that well threw a jar of ammonia at my face and into my eyes and I was blind all summer long.
Dude that's Nothing...
Dave - During a short summer break a kid that I really didn't know that well threw a jar of ammonia at my face and into my eyes and I was blind all summer long.
Fast cars...
Patrick - I used to have a Corvette and my cousin and I were on our way to work in Port Huron Michigan at PJ Wallbank Springs and we were able to get the car up to 171 miles per hour.
Dude...That's NOTHING...
You know who - I used to have 3 Hemi Cuda's and let me tell you each of them could fly. I only had a speedometer that went to 140 but I know...I was doing close to 180 mph in a 35 mph school zone.
Dude...That's NOTHING...
You know who - I used to have 3 Hemi Cuda's and let me tell you each of them could fly. I only had a speedometer that went to 140 but I know...I was doing close to 180 mph in a 35 mph school zone.
Bee Sting
Patrick - Last year when I was out working in the barn there was this old tarp and it was stuck on a board up high. I reached up and pulled it down and sure enough there was a wasp nest stuck to the side of it. Before I could react, I was stung in the right temple. Sort of felt like somebody hit me with a hot poker and my eye was nearly swelled shut.
Dave - DTN, when I was about 8 we spent the day at the beach and collected some starfish and shells and we laid them out to dry on some old wood. I went out later to check on them and started moving them around and them damn bee's stung me about 10 times and my arms, neck and legs where swelled up twice as big.
Dave - DTN, when I was about 8 we spent the day at the beach and collected some starfish and shells and we laid them out to dry on some old wood. I went out later to check on them and started moving them around and them damn bee's stung me about 10 times and my arms, neck and legs where swelled up twice as big.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Arachnaphobia
This weekend Bill and I were driving along and a spider dropped down beside me in the car. I detest spiders so I started shrieking and eventually managed to knock it on to the floor where I could squish it.
Dude that's nothing
This one time in Florida I walked outside and spider as BIG AS MY HAND landed on my head. I shit you not. It was that big. I felt something drop on my head and I reached up and swatted at it. I about fell over when I saw it land on the ground. When I squished it, it's guts sprayed out three feet!
Dude that's nothing
This one time in Florida I walked outside and spider as BIG AS MY HAND landed on my head. I shit you not. It was that big. I felt something drop on my head and I reached up and swatted at it. I about fell over when I saw it land on the ground. When I squished it, it's guts sprayed out three feet!
Friday, June 1, 2007
Bloody Stump
The other day, Bill's Grandmother came over to see her great-grandson. Bill's chickens run all over the yard and the rooster has been getting a little aggressive lately. When Rooster made as if to challenge Grandma, Bill grabbed a stick and whacked the rooster in the head, knocking him out for several minutes. He thought he killed the chicken and would have to spend the next half an hour cleaning a chicken carcass. But the rooster recovered and was a little less aggressive for the next several days. Maybe he was still dizzy.
Dude that's nothing!
We used to have 150 chickens. And there was this one hen. Man she was mean. I used to take a stick in with me and hold her head down while I collected her eggs so she wouldn't peck me.
My dad saw me doing it one day and he was like "What's the stick for, pussy?" I told him about the hen but he didn't believe me. So I said "You try and get the eggs, asshole". So he did. He came out of the hen house with only a bloody stump where his hand had once been. After that he didn't say anything about my stick.
Dude that's nothing!
We used to have 150 chickens. And there was this one hen. Man she was mean. I used to take a stick in with me and hold her head down while I collected her eggs so she wouldn't peck me.
My dad saw me doing it one day and he was like "What's the stick for, pussy?" I told him about the hen but he didn't believe me. So I said "You try and get the eggs, asshole". So he did. He came out of the hen house with only a bloody stump where his hand had once been. After that he didn't say anything about my stick.
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